First Day at Home

I was released to go home after two nights in the hospital.  Friends and family sent me beautiful flowers to give me something pretty to look at while I laid about.  I took liquid hydro codeine to help sleep at night.  My stomach muscles and incisions were pretty painful.  Partly because of this... allergic reaction to the adhesive on the sterile strips.  So glad I had my very own personal nurse at home to take care of me.  We removed the original bandages and replaced them with different sterile strips and applied severe burn ointment.  After a couple of days the incision sites looked much better.  When I was at home I was to start working on taking in protein drinks.  I had purchased a large vat of powdered protein that I felt tasted better than others I had tried.  I used Isopure Cookies and Cream.  I tried blending it with ice in a blender and drinking on it from a glass.  No dice.  I was not able to drink it that way.  So my dad came up with a better plan.  Shot glasses.  We poured a shot of protein shake in the shot glass and put the rest in the fridge.  I set a timer and knew I was to have the shot glass drank in an hour.  That really helped me get in some fluids.  Though there was no way I was able to get in the recommended amount.  Tiny sips every few minutes was a feat of its own.  I struggled to get an 8 oz glass down in a day.  I tried to sip on shot glasses of broth and sugar free Popsicle every day as well for flavor but never got in very much of them because I immediately stopped drinking or eating at the first sign of discomfort.  Full feels different after surgery.  It feels more like a restriction as opposed to the typical "ate too much at Thanksgiving" full I had been use to.  I took my first shower at home and nearly passed clean out.  Without much fuel going into the new tank I was pretty weak.  I walked to the mailbox three times a day as exercise.  I used a lanyard, the kind you put your badge on at work, to keep my drainage port and bulb out of  the way so I could keep my hands free to brace myself against the walls of the shower.  Stay tuned for the next posts about exercise and food!

The Day After Surgery

That picture is worth a thousand words isn't it?!  My doctor came in first thing the morning after surgery.  I asked him to remove my nasal tube which was a bit shocking.  He told me to grab some tissues and have them right below my nose.  He grabbed hold of the tube below my nose and pulled it straight out!!  The most incredibly weird feeling I have ever felt up till then and that includes childbirth...twice!  I was then taken for an upper GI where I got to sip on some awful chalky thick shake so they could make sure that my new tummy didn't have any leaks.  The upper GI is basically an x-ray that take pics while you drink this nasty shake.  Once I was cleared by the doc I was allowed to start taking in clear liquids.  So I tried some chicken broth, one sip and I was done.  Couldn't stomach the taste of it.  Then my mom suggested a sugar free popsicle.  Two licks and I was over that as well.  Temperature was an issue for me.  Room temperature water was all I could handle.  I blew the vein in my other hand by mid day.  The nurse came to look for another vein in my arm.  They tried the veins in my arms and weren't able to find anything.  I continued to walk laps around the nurses station.  They brought in a nurse that was known for being able to get any vein on anybody.  She took off my compression stockings and socks.  She began to check my feet for veins.  I flipped a switch for real on that tiny little Asian nurse.  I told her I was done and that there was not a snowballs chance of her getting a needle in my foot.  I put up a total three year old, missed nap time, and and wants some candy at the grocery store check out fit!  Pretty sure my mom was exceptionally embarrassed.  Don't care!  No way I was going for an IV in the foot.  They all agreed to give me a break since I was hysterical.  They came back in the afternoon and then started looking at my neck for veins.  Thank God for my bestie, Jennifer, for coming by to see me after work.  She came in while I was in mid verbal brawl with the tiny but surprisingly strong Asian nurse.  Jennifer totally backed me up!  She asked the nurse to call the doctor and see if there was anything we could do to avoid putting an IV back in.  As much as I hate IV's I was grateful for when the nurse came back with the news that instead I would get a shot in the butt every 4 hours of antibiotics.  That was until I got the first one and thought I had been shot in the rear with a hippo tranquilizer.  OUCH!  Better than a needle in the foot or neck though.  By the way, compression stockings are a great request at the hospital if they are not offered to you.  The help prevent blood clots which are not something you want to leave to chance.  Stay tuned for how I handled life at home once I was released from the hospital the next morning.

Surgery Day! 3/5/13

I kissed my two boys and told them today was the first day of a healthier momma and to be extra good for Daddy while I was recovering from surgery.  I kissed SM (Stud Muffin) and told him I loved him so much and I was so grateful to have his support to make such a drastic change.

Mom picked me up from the house at 5:30 am to be at the hospital at 6.  I was a nervous wreck and chatted at my mom anxiously the entire way.  As we walked through the doors it became very real that I was about to pay someone roughly $4000 to cute 85% of my stomach out of my body with robotic arms.  I started to panic a bit.  We went up to admitting and I paid the initial deposit to the hospital and put on the hospital bracelets.  We waited for the pre-op nurse to call us back.  From the time of the start of my pre-op diet to that morning I had lost 10 lbs.  I was 260 pounds the day of surgery.  I went into the pre-op room and got changed into the gown.  My mom is an operating room nurse so she brought me thigh high compression stockings to help avoid blood clots.  It took us both to wrestle all of me into those things.

Mom and I waiting to be called back for surgery

By then the boys and SM were on the road to school that morning.  In our home there is a wall of silver crosses.  On the back of them all is written the special blessing in our family (birth of children, new homes, firsts for the family, vacations, etc.).  I had purchased a special cross for my surgery.  I had already written my surgery day on the cross and had put the nail in the wall for it to hang.  SM called me to say one more time that he was proud of me and loved me.  He said that he had hung up my cross before leaving that morning and that he would see me the next day.  That's when I started to cry and I didn't stop until I was under for the surgery.  The pastor came into pray with Mom and I, the doctor came in to check on me before we headed to the OR, and the nurse put the IV in my hand (which I HATE).  Through all of this I cried.  The emotions of letting myself get so morbidly obese, using food as a drug, hiding behind my fat, etc. all became very real for me in that morning.

I was finally given my "top shelf margarita" and rolled back to the OR.  Mom said my surgery was very fast and was surprised at how quickly I was in the recovery room.  When I awoke from surgery I had a tube going up my nose and down into my stomach.  I had a fanny pack with a weird fluid filled pouch.  It was a morphine catheter that went straight into my 4 inch long incision on my stomach.  There was also a drainage tube coming out of the left side of my belly with a drainage bulb attached to the end.  I had a catheter in for the first part of the day.  By evening time, my catheter was removed, I got up and took my first short walk from my bed to the nurses desk and straight back to bed.  I continued to push my morphine pump button to try and stay as out of it as possible.  The tube running up my nose and down my throat made me gag every second I was awake.  Dry heaving on a freshly stapled stomach was supremely painful.  By that time the vein in my right hand had blown and a nurse had to come in and start a new IV in my left hand.  The evening passed by pretty much in a daze.

Stay tuned for the next installment and all the drama that ensued the day after surgery.

Whatcha pack for the hospital

Here is a list of things I packed for the hospital that I actually used

• Chapstick- the first 24 hours they won't give you anything to drink, so your lips get chapped

• Underwear a size larger than what I normally wear- your entire body will be swollen after surgery

• Phone charger- I forgot mine but my mom brought hers :)

• A dress/moo moo to wear home- you will only want to wear things that barely touch you and are super soft because hydro codeine gives you the phantom itchies

• Hair ties/clips- forgot mine at home so my mom used these tiny sewing bobbin keepers for my hair, not good, see the Surgery Day post for pics

• Hair brush- again see hair ties, mom had to use the brush from the hospital

• Tooth brush and tooth paste- I remembered those and have never been happier to brush my teeth than I was on day 2 at the hospital

• Sports bra- keeps the ladies out of the way of the incision directly below your rib cage

• Lanyard- you can clip your drainage bulb to this so you can use both hands to wash up in the shower and brace yourself to try to keep from passing out in the shower

I actually packed a ton more than this for my two night stay and not a dang bit of it got used.  You will be high as a kite and won't be able to do anything that requires much brain power.  Every time I came to I walked a lap around the nurses station and then brought by little self back to bed where I promptly pushed my morphine button and slipped back into my drug induced coma.  Some of you might be braver than me and have a much higher tolerance for pain but I figured ride the gravy train while you have it.  I knew once I got home I did not intend to take pain meds except for bedtime.

The Last Supper with My Full Size Stomach- Pre Op full body pics

I have always said that if I was to ever have a last supper.  A dining experience full of gluttony and food that changes your life it would be my Mom's lasagna from scratch, brownies with Blue Bell homemade vanilla ice cream with whip cream, chocolate syrup, and a cherries on top.

On the night before my pre-op diet began, the week before surgery, my Mom prepared a feast that did not disappoint.  I can say with complete certainty that no one I mean NO ONE makes lasagna like my mother and it has been my most favorite dish of her's since childhood.

My Highest Weight Ever
*Day I started Pre-Op Diet

I ate two helpings of lasagna, a slice of garlic bread (from the middle of the loaf, because those are the most buttery), and a giant square of brownie with a huge scoop of Blue Bell homemade vanilla ice cream, smothered in chocolate syrup, topped with a mountain of redi-whip and several cherries.

Knowing it was going to be two months before I was able to eat solid food I couldn't imagine going out as a fat girl any other way.  I savored every bite and ate till I felt miserable.  I was miserably blissful.

 

Insurance...Approved

In December of 2012 I decided that the medically supervised diet had not worked and that I was ready to try again to get approved for weight-loss surgery.  I attended a small seminar at a doctor's office with a group of about 10 other people.  The surgeon explained the procedures available in detail and told of the risks and benefits of each.  Then we were all given an opportunity to speak to the doctor individually.  The doctor I chose was recommended to me by my primary care physician and is the head of gastric surgery at a near by hospital.

I met with the surgeon and told him that I wanted the gastric bypass because of my addiction to sugar and my bestie had the sleeve and it didn't work.  He went over my measurements and history and assured me that the gastric sleeve would be better for me especially with all of the female surgeries I had there would be a lot of scar tissue in my abdomen to go through if I was to have the bypass.  So I decided to follow his advise and put in the paperwork to insurance for a approval for the gastric sleeve procedure.  Again I prayed the same prayer that if this was God's will that insurance would approve the surgery quickly and that all of the preoperative requirements would go smoothly.  I agreed with my husband and family that at the first sign of insecurities or doubt I would call the whole thing off.  My mom is a nurse.  She had seen this procedure and wanted to be sure that my surgeon was the best available and would not treat me like "a puppy in the puppy  mill."  Within a week of the paperwork being filed with insurance I was approved for surgery!

I completed a meeting with the dietitian, upper GI testing, and a psychological evaluation.  All of which were a breeze.  Surgery date was set for March 5, 2013!

Insurance...Denied!

After delivery of Chum I got down to 250 pounds.  My gestational diabetes turned into Type 2 diabetes which I struggled to control with diet and exercise.  To be honest the whole situation felt hopeless.  I was busy working, raising two kids and being a wife to Stud Muffin.  I just couldn't stay on track with any diet or "life style change".  So I decided to look into gastric surgery.  I suckered my best friend into going to a free seminar with me to see if either one of us was a candidate for weight loss surgery with one of those big named bariatric surgeons.  I filled out the paperwork and sent in test results from my latest diabetes blood work.  I prayed that if it was God's will that I would be approved for surgery.  If that was not, then to lead me down the path he wanted me to take.

My bestie was approved for surgery and had her gastric sleeve preformed in April of 2011 by the big box doc.  After complications and very little loss she continued to try to follow up with the doctor for help.  With little to no success and absolutely no concern or assistance from the doctor the surgery was unsuccessful.  For the past few years I have seen her struggle through this and it breaks my heart.  There are decisions she made that contributed to the failure of the surgery but mostly I blame the surgeon for not taking time to really try to assist her through the difficulties of having this procedure.

I, on the other hand, was not approved by insurance for the surgery.  So I was told to go on a medically supervised diet for a year and that insurance would then pay for the surgery.  So I joined a program where you bought a nasty array of prepackaged meals and met with a nutritionist once a week to go over your food choices.  I think I lost a total of 30 pounds in the year that I was on the program but as soon as I lost those 30 I found them and some of their friends which put me at 260 pounds by the end of 2012.

Here Comes Baby Chum

Pregnancy number two was laden with issues.  High blood pressure, too much stress from being in a bad work environment, and diabetes decided to rear its' ugly head again.  I tried to watch what I ate but I was as big as a whale and wanted nothing except for ice cream and Popsicles.  By the time it was delivery day I was a whopping 275 pounds with a 35 pound gain throughout the entire pregnancy.

 We had to have a c-section because my OBGYN said that the baby was built like a line backer...all shoulders and head.  So we welcomed Chum into the world two weeks before his due date at the end of July 2009.  He came into the world loud and wild and has maintained that persona.  He is a real pistol but we love our little guy so much.  Beans was thrilled to be a big brother and took such pride in helping take care of him.

After delivery I had a horrible allergic reaction to the adhesive on the epidural sheath.  I had never had any allergic reaction ever in my entire life and thought it was a fluke until later on.  The only weight I was able to lose after pregnancy was the 8 pounds and 5 oz of Chum and a few from fluid.  I was 250 once I had recovered from child birth.

Stupid Cervix

I am a creature of habit.  On the Monday of spring break I always go get my women's physical done.  Well that just so happened to fall on two days after the wedding.  Labs came back the next week with abnormal cells on my cervix.  So to the specialist I went.  After several biopsies and procedures they were able to remove the precancerous cells from my cervix but had thinned it out pretty substantially by the time it was all said and done.  So in August the specialist suggested that we go ahead and get pregnant if that was something we wanted to do.  We had only been married for 5 months and hadn't planned on expanding our family for another year.  I told the doctor that we needed sometime to pray for God's direction for our family.  The specialist told me that if I came back for my next round of testing in December and had abnormal cells again that it would be best to remove my cervix.  We decided to wait for a while and continue to seek God's will.  So the last week in October, Stud Muffin and I stood over the toilet and ceremoniously flushed all of my birth control pills.  We knew that it might take several months for us to conceive since I had been on birth control for a while.

Those were the longest two months ever.  We read books, articles, anything and everything we could get our hands on to give us the best chances at conceiving.  I went to the doctor weekly to get blood drawn to find out if I was pregnant.  With the clock ticking we felt defeated.  I went to my appointment for another round of testing and uncomfortable exams on a Friday.  Saturday morning I woke up not feeling well.  I just didn't feel right.  I couldn't explain what was going on.  I remembered I had a pregnancy test under the bathroom cabinet, so I took the test.  I was shocked when it had TWO LINES!  I showed Muffin and he said that I should take another to be sure.  I went to Walgreen's to pick up milk, pancake syrup, and another pack of pregnancy tests.  Two more sets of double pink lines confirmed we were PREGNANT!

We asked my parents to come over to take our picture in front of the Christmas tree and then we gave them a card from Beans saying he was going to be a big brother.  Muffin decided to have Beans wear a special big brother shirt to tell the news to his family when we went up to Oklahoma for Christmas.

Speedy Engagement

So we were engaged on December 8th, baptised together on December 9th, and then quickly married on March 15, 2008.  It was a quick little ceremony in our church where we exchanged vows with one another and Stud Muffin exchanged vows with Beans.  Not a dry eye in the house.  I highly recommend that for people blending together families.  It is not just a wedding but a start of a new family and everyone needs to lay down those expectations for each other just as much as the bride and groom.


After the ceremony we went to my parents house to eat and enjoy a family lunch.  I forgot my contact lens case and Stud Muffin forgot a tooth brush so on the way to our hotel for the evening and dinner at a fancy restaurant we stopped at Walgreen's.  They were doing free pics with the Easter Bunny.  Why not?!

That next morning we got up, went to pick up Beans from my parents house, and went to go move Stud Muffin out of his apartment and into mine.  Beans turned 3 two weeks after the wedding.

At the time of our wedding I was 240 pounds.  Sad emotions are not the only ones I eat.  I also like to celebrate with food.  :)

The Dating Game

So when I was mentally preparing for the the dating game I prayed for direction in finding my happily ever after.  During that time I wrote a list of requirements for my future hubby.  So when I started dating I knew exactly what I wanted.  If on the first date I found the suitor less than perfectly matched to my list, I thanked him for an entertaining meal but I didn't see our relationship headed any further.


Then I met the one!  On our very first date I knew right away he was the one for me. Where did we meet?  Kind of ashamed to say, but... craigslist.  I wrote a personal ad with the list of requirements and assured the reader that I was not looking for anything physical but trying to find my happily ever after.  Lots of emails from schmucks!  Then there were a few that caught my eye.  I went on two first  dates which ended before dessert.  During that time Stud Muffin (now husband) and I talked on the phone and emailed.  Our first date was at my apartment where we ate dirt cups and watched 40 Year Old Virgin.  I knew it was his birthday the next day and school was starting in two days, he is a teacher as well, so I made him a pencil box with some grading stamps, stickers, pens, and pencils as a small gift.

We sat on the couch talking for hours.  I knew that evening that I had met my husband.  Our second date was church and attending the singles group bible study.  Every weekend after that was filled with much of the same.  After dating for a month he met Beans and instantly fell in love with my little boy.


On December 8th, 2007, Stud Muffin took Beans and I to the ICE exhibit at the Gaylord Texan.  Beans wanted to go down the ice slide so I went with him.  Beans sailed down that sucker as if I had coated his pants with Crisco!  I on the other hand had my jeans freeze to the slide half way down and had to stand up to pull the jacket down over my rump to make it the rest of the way down.  But totally worth it because at the end of the slide was Stud Muffin was down on one knee, holding Beans on his knee with the most beautiful ring.  I said YES!!

Final Semester of College and Graduation

Beans at 3 months

The last semester of college was filled with dirty diapers, baby giggles, the intoxicating smell of baby magic lotion, college papers, 2nd grade internship, and working evenings at the grocery store.  This was probably my hardest 6 months.  Trying to juggle my responsibilities in school, financially, and as a new mom I could barely keep my head above water.  But by the grace of God I pulled through that semester and graduated from college with a bachelor's in education.  I graduated in December.  Finding a teaching job mid year is almost impossible.  With another answered prayer I found myself the week before graduation signing contract with a district to become a 3rd grade science and social studies teacher.  I was pumped!  Finally molding minds in my very own classroom!

Graduation was the week before XMAS,
Beans was 9 months old

I arrived to find a decomposing portable labeled "Science Lab" to be my new home away from home past the barbed wire fenced in teacher parking lot.  The portable leaned noticeably to one side and had computers bolted to the wall that were such an old model of a Mac I couldn't figure out how to turn the Jurassic boxes even on.  Evidently, the flasks and scales in the lab were really good for cooking drugs and distributing them because my portable was broken into 3 times that semester.  Those slugs even stole my box of Chicken In A Biscuit crackers and the cordial cherries out from under the sink that served as my teacher desk.  It was in an area I was afraid to get gas in at the local gas station.  I drove in crazy traffic for an hour each way everyday to begin to build up enough saving for Beans and I to get our own home.

Justa Swingin'

That second Mother's Day weekend Beans and I moved into our very own apartment.  My first purchase for our new home was this precious swing for the balcony of our appointment.  Once a week my dad would come over and eat dinner at the apartment and take out my trash for me.  On the weekends we would drive the 5 miles from the apartment back to my parents house to eat their food and do our laundry.  With cooking for a toddler meals are pretty limited for processed foods.  So my culinary skills started with cereal and ended with spaghetti o's and chicken nuggets.  Our cabinets and fridge were filled with convenient foods and sugary treats for me to snack out on after Beans went to bed.  I had gotten down from the 267 at delivery to 230 when we moved into the apartment.

So we coasted through the remainder of the school year.  Much of this year was also spent in and out of the court house fighting for sole custody of Beans. Despite my family and friends tremendous support I felt alone and hopeless.  I prayed to not have to raise my son alone but knew with a 1 year old son, 245 pounds, and a career in a female monopolized industry... it was going to be divine intervention to find a man good enough to be my husband but more importantly the father to my son.

So for a year I focused on the things that I believed were most important.  I tried very hard to run a nice home, cook better meals, and be the best mom I could be.  I began trying to develop more friendships and become a better teacher.  I decorated our little 2 bedroom apartment and continued to make our apartment truly a home for Beans and I.  When Beans was 2 I decided to join the dating game.  Stay tuned for my fool proof way to land a stud muffin like I did!

I Got Knocked Up

Some people would be highly offended by this title.  Let's say it is my hook for readers all my writing teacher peeps.  Either way it is what it is.


I was 20 years old, a junior in college, living in a dorm, and pregnant with a guy I had known for about 5 months.  I moved in with him and really found out what a mess I was in.  We lived in a junky apartment with used furniture found on the side of the road and barely scraped by with paying bills and eating canned goods.  My parents continued to pay for my college, knowing I would never be able to take care of a child without my college degree.  I went to school full time and worked every moment I was not in class.  Early in the pregnancy we learned that I had gestational diabetes.  In the first trimester alone I had gained 20 pounds.  With the verdict of diabetes I had to change my diet and begin giving myself insulin injections in my thighs and belly.  Not fun.  I tried to watch my food intake but with my sad state of affairs I was more depressed than I had ever been in my life.  My the end of my second trimester, with my health and relationship failing, I moved back home to my parents house with loser boyfriend in tow.  I know my parents only allowed for this because I continued to struggle with my diabetes and blood pressure and my boyfriend was not even remotely concerned about the health or well being of me or the baby.  Packed on another 20 pounds the second trimester.  By now I was attending classes, completing my first year of internship in a classroom of 23 kindergarteners, and working evening shifts at the local grocery store as a cashier.  My whole world changed at the end of March when this little guy showed up.

This is Beans!  I gave him that nickname when I saw his first sonogram and he looked like a little jelly bean.  He was born after Spring Break in 2005.  Hard to believe he is going to be 9 in a few months.  On delivery day I was had gained a whopping 67 pounds during pregnancy.  The first night as I laid in the hospital bed trying to nurse my newborn all alone I begged God to give us an opportunity to escape the life we were in.

As always God delivered!  On my first Mother's Day with Beans, two weeks before my 22nd birthday, my boyfriend was moved out and we were on our way to a brighter future.  A much needed answered prayer for my family.

Eatin' My Emotions

I am what Oprah calls an emotional eater.  My emotions come in the forms of carbs and sugar.  Fried food were my friend, sweets were soothing, and carbs were my comfort.  I think it all started in college.

How ya' like that for a throw back pic?!

I lived in the dorms and enjoyed all the cafeteria had to offer on the bottom floor of it.  Breakfast, lunch, and dinner were served daily with little consideration to nutritional needs.  After all we were adults and could make healthy food choice.  Right...


My roommates and I kept a hidden box of spoons at the grocery store behind our dorm so we could buy a pint of ice cream and eat it while we walked home.  Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough all the way!  I graduated high school at 175 pounds.  By the end of my sophomore year of college I was 200 pounds.


Then I started working at Godiva during my junior year.  I developed an insatiable addiction to fine chocolate.  To top that off I moved to a dorm that had a soft serve machine and a blender like they use at Dairy Queen to make blizzards.  Vanilla soft serve, M&M's, and caramel syrup were my poison of choice.  Sitting here now typing this I am totally salivating like a junk yard bull dog.


I got engaged to my college sweetheart until he decided to "go in a different direction".  So with that the engagement was off and I was on full rebound mode.  Continuing to eat my heartache I got up to 215.  The first guy I started dating worked at an eatery in the mall below the Godiva store I worked at.  My family and friends could already spot that he was bad news.  But I didn't care until... I got pregnant.


Stay tuned for the rest of the emotions I got to eat in the two years following that.

Meet Mrs. G

I am a native Texan, hopeful sinner, wife of a stud muffin, mother of two wild boys, daughter of amazing parents, big sister, Sunday school leader, math and science teacher, keeper of the craft room, weightless surgery patient, carb addict, and a dozen other titles.

That's me in a nutshell!  Isn't my boyfriend cute?!  Through this blog I will share how I packed on 270 pounds, 70 of which I acquired in a 3 year span, and now have lost 117 in 10 months!  I will post the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God!  Join me for the the good, the bad, and the ugly of my journey to a better me.