I miss my Swedish Fish...

During this time of year, testing season for my fellow teachers, I rely heavily on a mass consumption of Swedish Fish candy.

There is something magical inside of them that calm me like an addict getting their fix when they have been detoxing.  Its not good.  I recognize that they are VERY poor food choice for me.  Even though they are a fat free food....

I work primarily with struggling learners.  That is my job.  To take the children who are not learning in the traditional environment and tailor an educational plan that is different for them than their peers.  It is a challenging job and one that I love very much.  I wish that differentiation was a thing in the 80's-90's.  I probably wouldn't have hated school so much.  But the pressure of getting those kids to find success on a standardized test is daunting.  I leave it all on the field/court/classroom every day.  To help in my survival I usually have a 5 lbs. bag of Swedish fish to keep me company all spring long (really I have to buy a new bag every week).

This is my first spring without my beloved fish and I am struggling to maintain a semblance of stability.  How do we let food have such a strong strangling, suffocating, consuming hold on us?

Jennifer and I were talking and I think it boils down to this.  Food is a legal and necessary drug for survival.  It can give you highs, lows, and false sense of security.  However, you must consume food to be able to survive.  Ultimately, not choosing good nutritious food will kill you.

It is a constant battle to make good food decisions.  Surgery did not cure the mental aspect of the disease of obesity.  This week I have been reminded that I might not be showing the physical signs of my disease any longer but in no way am I in remission.

Life Verse...Staying Yoked Up

I remember saying this verse during evening prayer at Episcopal Church camp as a child.

Matthew 11:29-30
"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.30"For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

There have been so many times in my life that I have struggled through the choices I have made.  The road I was on was of my own choosing and often time I found myself frustrated and in utter despair.  There are times when I would shake my fist in anger at God and question his reasoning for such frustrating and terrifying situations.  When I am honest with myself it is the times that I unyoked myself from God and was determined to pull myself through those dark times that I was the most frustrated.  I would finally get so fed up and anxious that I would ask God to take my burdens and push me through those times that I ever felt any relief.

The only adage of "Misery loves company" is true.  When life got miserable enough I would crave His company and once I finally yoked back up with God the road I was hoeing became much less of a burden.  The work was still hard but is more tolerable when you have an ally to harness up with.

I find myself more convicted to keep those ties with God constant in times of joy and ease because I know that no life is without trials and if I just stay yoked up with him that I am much more prepared for whatever lies ahead.

Art with Food Butts

I found a random canvas in my craft room the other day and felt like being crafty.  So here is what I did...

I had some butts (not sure of what you really call that part of food) of celery, lettuce, and an apple that was going bad cut in half.  I had purchased my Bountiful Basket and had chopped up my veggies so these bit were just going to go in the trash until I felt inspired to do some painting with food.  Just like we did in preschool I used some random paint I had at home and stamped on the canvas with my food butts. :)  I then used a rubber stamp of a cross and stamped the canvas with that as well.  Probably not my most favorite thing I have ever made but I had fun doing.

Adopting my dog daughter, Agnes

at the shelter

No lie, I cried and threw a fit like a toddler when Stud Muffin and I found out that Chum was going to be a boy. I had already decided on the name for my embryonic daughter, Lillianne. Her nursery theme was going to be "tea party dress up". Picture it...adorable ruffles, tiny china tea sets perfectly displayed on a shelf on the wall with gorgeous vintage hats hanging below it. Lots of pink. When I saw the sonogram of Chum on the monitor it was hard to deny that we were in fact going to be welcoming another son into the world.  I was so upset that I let my mom and Muffin pick out his bedding.

When I was 26 we had Chum.  By 28 the cervix and uterus were continuing to be drama so we decided a partial hysterectomy was best.  I had my tubes tied at Chum's birth because we were certain that two was enough for us.  But when the news came that hysterectomy was on the horizon I was a bit devastated that the remote possibility of having a child was now gone forever.

I had wanted a dog for our little family since we got our first house our first year of marriage.  Muffin said that the timing was bad and that we just were too busy to have the added responsibility of a puppy.  So I waited for another 2 years.  When Chum was potty trained well I broached the subject again but now with a list of 100 reasons why we should get a dog.  The girls I worked with help me compile what we believed was sufficient enough evidence to support the adoption of a fur baby.  Muffin disagreed.  Finally on April 14, 2012 with my body one month shy of being void of a uterus Muffin agreed to let me look.  I think he could tell that my heart was hurting over no more snugly babies.

I took Chum to the animal shelter in our town.  I had found the cutest dachshund on petfinder named Penny.  And what luck that she was already spayed and doing well with potty training.  They believed she was about a year old.  I figured if this dog was able to handle Chum then she could handle anything.  The two bonded quickly that Thursday afternoon.  I took Conner with me on Friday to the shelter to meet Penny and they immediately enjoyed each others company.  I knew she was the pooch for us.  So I asked if we could take her for the weekend to see how she would do in our home and with the boys outside of the shelter.  The workers actually said that they preferred for people to take the animals for a week or so to see if it was a good match as opposed to taking them and then returning them later to be adopted out again.  Within the first 24 hours I called the shelter and gave them my credit card number over the phone to pay for the adoption because we would not be returning her.  Despicable Me was and still is the most popular movie at our home.  So since she has black fur and is very sweet and playful we decided Agnes was her real name.

She is the princess of our home for sure.  At first Muffin was very stand off with Agnes and would say "I will bond with her on my own terms."  Whatever...she melted his icy exterior and now my Muffin walks my sweet wiener dog on her pink leash with her pink collar and harness (even her poo poo bags are pink) every weekend first thing in the morning.  She has been such a blessing for our family.  She is a companion for my boys in ways that only a dog can be.  She sleeps either in our bed or with Beans in his.  She will sit next to you keeping careful watch when you are sick.  When I am in need of a baby she will lay in my arms like and infant and humor my need for some snuggle time.  She sleeps on a quilt when we are at work and is always happy to see us when we get home.

I think breeder dogs are fine but there is something special about a shelter pup that just exudes appreciation and love.  I might not have a daughter in the traditional sense but I am pretty pleased with my dog daughter.

Being the only girl

There is something wonderful about being the only girl (minus Agnes) in my house.  I am the only love interest three men's lives.  I get pink roses for Valentine's Day.  A wonderful dinner with Stud Muffin.  A ton of beautiful hand made cards made of construction paper and crayons.  These boys certainly went all out to make me feel like the only girl in their lives.  I am lucky to get to hold that place in there hearts.  I dread the day that my sons will have another girl in their life but for now I will soak in the wonderfulness of being their first and only Valentine.

Finding Healthy Foods

My basket from 2 weeks ago

I discovered this hidden little Co-Op through a fellow teacher and now I have developed a full on addiction.  It is called Bountiful Baskets.  I needed a way to get awesome produce at a very reasonable price.  Often times I skipped out on the fresh produce when I doing my usual grocery shopping because I was afraid the food would go bad before I ate it.  The price wasn't helpful either when I could buy frozen or canned for what I felt was cheaper.  Not the case anymore.  I participate in the Bountiful Basket co-op every other week.  With my one basket I am able to cook a dinner 6 nights a week (we eat out once a week) with a fresh vegetable, have healthy fruit and vegetable snacks for me and the family.

Here is how it works...check out the website linked above to find your contribution day and site location nearest you.  They have them all over the US so hopefully you can find one near you.  Purchase your basket using a safe and secure online purchase.  Conventional baskets (not guaranteed organic) are $15 before tax, and the Organic baskets are $25.  You will then receive an email.  Print it or bring your phone to pick up at designated time.  If you can volunteer that is great!  Come early at the volunteer time and help load the baskets with all the wonderful fresh foods.  Bring something to take your basket home in as you will not be given a basket to transport your goodies back home in.

The rule at Mrs. G's house is if it is in the basket then it must be eaten.  So through this little adventure in food I have tried all kinds of different recipes and foods.  The boys (hubby included) and I are now enjoying eating fresh foods as opposed to overly processed garbage!

Out On A Walk

One of the very best things about our neighborhood is the 5K trail that winds its way around the development.  It is one of our favorite things to do as a family.  We rate our walk by the number of turtles we see when out and about.  Because it was so dang cold the other weekend it was a 0 on the turtle scale.  Makes me anxious for spring.  One time Beans and I had a 32 Turtle scale walk!  Fabulous!  Regardless of the number of turtles we enjoyed our time outside.  So here is the walk in photos.

thought the shadows were cool

popular turtle hang out...just too dang cold

Mrs G.'s Granola

Here is what you will need:
4 cup old fashioned oats
2 cup coarsely chopped walnuts
6 tablespoons warm honey
4 tablespoons olive oil
2 cups dried tropical fruit mix
1/2 hemp hearts

Combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl.  Lightly spray a metal pan with cooking spray.  Pour granola mix into pan and bake for 15 minutes at 400.  Stir mixture every 5 minutes.

This will make 30 servings of 1/4 cup granola.  The total cost of all ingredients used is around $10 and makes enough to fill the entire canister that the old fashioned oats come in.  I save the container and use it to store my granola!  Buying this much granola would cost twice as much.  With preparing it myself I saved money and was able to add the protein of the hemp hearts to make the snack about 100 calories and 2 grams of crunchy protein.  Not a bad treat!

ReFuel Weekend @ FBC

Every Sunday I walk into a room with a group of 11th grade girls who are welcoming, sweet, funny, accepting, and curious.  They are outwardly very open but as with all teenagers there is this underlying cynicism of whether or not what I am saying is real, relevant, or applicable.  I take a book written thousands of years ago, curriculum written for the masses, and find ways to make connections to those things for the girls that will make them want to live a life that will keep God in the LIME light.

My teaching partner, Stephanie
God was brilliant when He teamed
us up!

The call is one I struggle to answer every weekend not because of the girls, or the curriculum, or the content but because every Sunday I want to make a difference in their lives and put them in a place to receive God's word so that it is attainable truths as opposed to nebulous concepts.  These connections are only made through relationships with these young ladies.

In an hour I am to deliver a lesson on God.  It is impossible to even brush the surface of an infinite God in a very finite amount of time.  In an hour I am to expose my life and break into theirs to show what God has done for me and what He can do for them.

This weekend I gained new perspective.

For a solid 42 hours I dedicate myself to these young ladies.  With that time I was able to further my relationships with them and also the other teacher I work with.  I now see that it is not expected for me to save them all and make sure they leave our classroom as a Christian woman but rather to plant the seed of Christ in their heart and push hard for them to feel a deep need for Him in their lives.  I cannot change anyone...I can't even change myself being left to my own devices.  That is God's job, and He does a magnificent job of it when I plant seeds and allow them to be watered with His word and Holy Spirit.

Could never have done that before WLS

I have been a youth group leader for three years.  I was with a group of girls starting their junior year of high school and then continued with them through graduation.  I cried at their graduation and longed to see their hands raised in praise during worship service the weeks they left for college.  In some ways I felt a void in my spiritual life without them.  I love those girls.  I worried that I would get a new group of 11th grade girls and I would fail to make connections with them as I had with my previous group.  When my now college girls would return home for breaks I would not see their faces first but the unique ways they all raise their hands in worship during service.  My eyes would tear up and I would yearn for the time in service to grab hold of them for a hug, kiss on the cheek, and an opportunity to pray with them.

Since August I have had my new 11th grade girls.  For the past 6 months we have grown to know each other at a very superficial surface level.  Not yet able to ask the tough questions and delve very deep into God's word.  The angst and frustration of preparing for lessons and making sure they were engaging enough to hold their attention, allowing time for social conversations, and a lesson that would be encouraging and non confrontational.  I can sum up the last 6 months in one word...awkward.  Them not really knowing me and me not really knowing them.

This weekend was a game changer.  Worship, prayer, small group time, and team building activities took us from a mismatched group of ladies in all different places to a real Faith Family.  It was all of the little moments that added together to create a unity that our group has been missing.  During this one weekend I noticed the kinds of music they each enjoyed, the way they are most comfortable praying, how they prefer to worship, and the way to relate to them.  They shared fears, strengths, praises, and prayers.  The parts of their lives they would ordinarily keep secret during our usual small group time.

they are so cute all snuggly and asleep

From this weekend I am changed.  I look forward to Sunday when I will be with my girls again to watch them grow in Christ.  What a blessing it is to be allowed to be part of this ride.  *Special thanks to my parental units for allowing us to take over their house for the entire weekend.  Love you both!  Also shout out to the hubby for holding down the fort while I was gone!  And for the boys not making Dad too nuts. :)

every pic I took of this chick this was her pose, love it!

tutus in our signature color, Lime Green

trash can races!

home run derby

Stephanie, our ETBU student teacher, she is a keeper for sure!

she slept in her tutu, PRECIOUS!

The 11th Grade Girls

My hubby brought me coffee to church on Sunday
Boy oh boy did I need it!