I miss my Swedish Fish...

During this time of year, testing season for my fellow teachers, I rely heavily on a mass consumption of Swedish Fish candy.

There is something magical inside of them that calm me like an addict getting their fix when they have been detoxing.  Its not good.  I recognize that they are VERY poor food choice for me.  Even though they are a fat free food....

I work primarily with struggling learners.  That is my job.  To take the children who are not learning in the traditional environment and tailor an educational plan that is different for them than their peers.  It is a challenging job and one that I love very much.  I wish that differentiation was a thing in the 80's-90's.  I probably wouldn't have hated school so much.  But the pressure of getting those kids to find success on a standardized test is daunting.  I leave it all on the field/court/classroom every day.  To help in my survival I usually have a 5 lbs. bag of Swedish fish to keep me company all spring long (really I have to buy a new bag every week).

This is my first spring without my beloved fish and I am struggling to maintain a semblance of stability.  How do we let food have such a strong strangling, suffocating, consuming hold on us?

Jennifer and I were talking and I think it boils down to this.  Food is a legal and necessary drug for survival.  It can give you highs, lows, and false sense of security.  However, you must consume food to be able to survive.  Ultimately, not choosing good nutritious food will kill you.

It is a constant battle to make good food decisions.  Surgery did not cure the mental aspect of the disease of obesity.  This week I have been reminded that I might not be showing the physical signs of my disease any longer but in no way am I in remission.